Miscarriage Woes

I'm a scientific researcher. I research the crap out of everything. Once I accepted that I was pregnant my first task was to research what I should be expecting and how things should be progressing. I am also very fascinated with the changes that are supposed to take place in my body; I'm talking hormonal fluctuations. I needed to know. I'm sharing my experience with what I found in hopes that you NEVER EVER do this. Seriously.

I was peeking in on forums to get the inside info from others that were also in their first trimester, researching how the baby grows and everything. Then it happened. Every where I went to research what's supposed to be happening was littered with the word "miscarriage." On the forums, people were miscarrying every day and decided to share their not so fortunate experience with others. On other sites (the medical ones) the rate of a first trimester miscarriage is listed as high as 25-30%. This freaks a lot of people out. I decided to dig deeper and figure out what this meant.

What they do not tell you is that this statistic includes everyone that has had a miscarriage before they know they're pregnant. So, what would seem like a normal, right on time period, was a miscarriage. This rate also includes something called a "blighted ovum" where a sac develops but there is never a developing embryo inside. Your body usually corrects these kinds of problems automatically but with today's advances in technology you can basically detect the pregnancy hormone, hCG, the day something implants in your uterine wall. This is where the problem lies. I understand how people that have been trying to conceive for a while get obsessed with monitoring every little hormonal change in their bodies but the issue I have with it is that it can be emotionally damaging.

As I mentioned, the forums are loaded with people that have had miscarriages at 4 and 5 weeks pregnant but if they had just waited it out they would have never known and could have avoided the fear that something is wrong with their body. The point I am trying to make here is that miscarriage is not as common as the stats would like you to believe but if you have suffered a miscarriage, you are not alone. For me, at the time being in the early stages of my pregnancy, read everything from an educational standpoint. I was just generally curious. For other mothers that may be expecting, reading things like that could completely stress them out, which is NOT GOOD for the baby. Also what I failed to realize at first is that forums about pregnancy and trying to get pregnant are usually geared towards those that have had problems seeking comfort with others in a similar situation. It is not for the uber-curious first time moms-to-be.

How did I prevent myself from worrying about whether or not I was going to miscarry? I didn't analyze every twinge and sensation that was different from what I am used to. I've never been pregnant before... I have nothing to compare it to. I also take great comfort in knowing that it is something that is out of my hands. You can't prevent a miscarriage. I have a friend who has 3 children but has had 5 miscarriages in a row. Her belief is, "Some souls are so perfect, they need only obtain life for a moment and their journey is complete."